Matthew 5:14-16 (New Living Translation)
14 “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. 15 No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.
Today I'm reminded that sometimes we're tired and we don't want to push forward anymore and it doesn't seem worth it, but God calls us to persevere and keep moving, because really, this is not about us, but about others seeing His glory so that people will know that He is truth, He is light, and He is Almighty God.
I don't know about you, but I find that I have a tendency to make it about myself, forgetting that a lot of times things happen in our lives to teach us things yes, but that it's ultimately so that we can tell our stories to others and see God impact in that way.
Some days it doesn't seem fair, and one might question why I would have to go through something if it's really for someone else's benefit, but then again, I'd rather my life be used by Him in some way, than to not be used at all.
So I am still tired, and my head still hurts, but I keep moving anyway because I realize that that's the only way to get to the finish line. One step forward, then another, and on the cycle goes. Time is going to pass anyway, so I might as well be moving as it ticks by, otherwise what's the point? Talk and no action breeds futility, and there is no time to waste.
And really, the other thing I'm learning is this: if you can talk about it, then you can pray about it. Words themselves are useless unless put to action, and prayer, I've concluded, is simply putting words in motion.
So this begs the question: When things get rough, are you going to sit there and complain about it, or are you going to pray? I think I'll choose to pray.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The life we've been invited to
1 Peter 2:18-25 (The Message)
The Kind of Life He Lived
18-20You who are servants, be good servants to your masters—not just to good masters, but also to bad ones. What counts is that you put up with it for God's sake when you're treated badly for no good reason. There's no particular virtue in accepting punishment that you well deserve. But if you're treated badly for good behavior and continue in spite of it to be a good servant, that is what counts with God.
21-25This is the kind of life you've been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. He suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step.
He never did one thing wrong,
Not once said anything amiss.
They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right. He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing. You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you're named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls.
The more I read, and the more I listen to people like Mark Driscoll, I'm convinced that we as Christians are called to a life with suffering. Naturally this isn't something that would sit very well with a lot of people, especially some of the Bible thumpers that I know, but I don't think I can keep trying to believe this myth that the moment you accept Christ, your live will become this happily charmed fairytale where all you get are blessings and gifts and good health all the days of your life.
And the thing is, if you look at what it says in the bible, I don't think anyone who's really read it can argue for a "perfect" life. We see this all over the place, like the above verses in Peter, where he's highlighting that what's really important is not so much that we're suffering, but that when we suffer, that we have the knowledge and hope to not only endure it, but how to deal with it as well. I find it highly ironic that so many people seem to think that believing in Jesus means it's a ticket out of hardships. One would think that if we worship a God who deigned to enter into suffering for our sakes, one that was highly cruel, unjust and scandalous, that we all the more would go through suffering ourselves.
I think when people think of suffering, they shudder in fear because they concentrate on the pain and the hardship and the difficulties. But the truth is if we really profess to believe who Jesus is and what the Bible says, then we'll see that suffering is never for nothing, that God will use it to shape and mold us, and that if we're smart, and since it already says we're going to suffer anyway, then we might as well make the most of it and not let it go to waste. The saddest story then, would be of someone who went through immense suffering, and yet never learned anything from it.
I am weary, but it's not the end of the world. These days I hardly remember what it's like to be energetic all the time, but it's okay. I know when the medication is done with and I finally have a chance at what being normal and healthy is again, that it'll work out. Some days I am still in shock over having a kidney disease. Yesterday marked exactly 9 months since everything unfolded, and I still have a hard time saying it at times. But it's still really okay. I know all this will be over soon, and God is working something through it, for which I am grateful.
I have decided that this week is really meant for me to devote my time to prayer and reading and resting in God. It seems like I'm only focused when I do so, and a part of me worries that if that's all I do then I'll fall even further behind in all the work I have to get done, but the other part of me feels like in order for me to do anything well, I must do this. Proverbs 1:7 says "Start with God - the first step in learning is bowing down to God" (The Message), so that's what I'm going to do.
I am, as it seems, simply laying down the foundation for things to come.
The Kind of Life He Lived
18-20You who are servants, be good servants to your masters—not just to good masters, but also to bad ones. What counts is that you put up with it for God's sake when you're treated badly for no good reason. There's no particular virtue in accepting punishment that you well deserve. But if you're treated badly for good behavior and continue in spite of it to be a good servant, that is what counts with God.
21-25This is the kind of life you've been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. He suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step.
He never did one thing wrong,
Not once said anything amiss.
They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right. He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing. You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you're named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls.
The more I read, and the more I listen to people like Mark Driscoll, I'm convinced that we as Christians are called to a life with suffering. Naturally this isn't something that would sit very well with a lot of people, especially some of the Bible thumpers that I know, but I don't think I can keep trying to believe this myth that the moment you accept Christ, your live will become this happily charmed fairytale where all you get are blessings and gifts and good health all the days of your life.
And the thing is, if you look at what it says in the bible, I don't think anyone who's really read it can argue for a "perfect" life. We see this all over the place, like the above verses in Peter, where he's highlighting that what's really important is not so much that we're suffering, but that when we suffer, that we have the knowledge and hope to not only endure it, but how to deal with it as well. I find it highly ironic that so many people seem to think that believing in Jesus means it's a ticket out of hardships. One would think that if we worship a God who deigned to enter into suffering for our sakes, one that was highly cruel, unjust and scandalous, that we all the more would go through suffering ourselves.
I think when people think of suffering, they shudder in fear because they concentrate on the pain and the hardship and the difficulties. But the truth is if we really profess to believe who Jesus is and what the Bible says, then we'll see that suffering is never for nothing, that God will use it to shape and mold us, and that if we're smart, and since it already says we're going to suffer anyway, then we might as well make the most of it and not let it go to waste. The saddest story then, would be of someone who went through immense suffering, and yet never learned anything from it.
I am weary, but it's not the end of the world. These days I hardly remember what it's like to be energetic all the time, but it's okay. I know when the medication is done with and I finally have a chance at what being normal and healthy is again, that it'll work out. Some days I am still in shock over having a kidney disease. Yesterday marked exactly 9 months since everything unfolded, and I still have a hard time saying it at times. But it's still really okay. I know all this will be over soon, and God is working something through it, for which I am grateful.
I have decided that this week is really meant for me to devote my time to prayer and reading and resting in God. It seems like I'm only focused when I do so, and a part of me worries that if that's all I do then I'll fall even further behind in all the work I have to get done, but the other part of me feels like in order for me to do anything well, I must do this. Proverbs 1:7 says "Start with God - the first step in learning is bowing down to God" (The Message), so that's what I'm going to do.
I am, as it seems, simply laying down the foundation for things to come.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
The dog and the bone
1 Chronicles 12:32 (New Living Translation)
32 From the tribe of Issachar, there were 200 leaders of the tribe with their relatives. All these men understood the signs of the times and knew the best course for Israel to take.
Today Brent and I were talking a little bit about being visionaries and the frustrations that come from having that kind of persona sometimes. I told him that there are days when I feel like the little dog with the fishing rod tie to it's back, running after the bone dangling right in front of me. I can see it, I can smell it, but I don't have it and I can't taste it. Almost, but not quite. And much like that dog, no matter how much I run after it, chase it with all my might, that bone will never be mine until my master comes and gets me to be still and retrieves the bone and gives it to me.
So hence today's verse. It is great to have vision, and visionaries, much like their timing counterparts are definitely needed. However, it is not enough to have vision. We must also understand the signs of the times, and in being able to discern the timing of things, thereby also know which is the best course to take at this particular time. Brent says a lot how he managed to mess things up in the past where he saw the vision, but got the timing wrong and in doing so, created more of a mess than anything else.
The problem sometimes with promises is that because we know it's been promised and that we're going to get it, it creates an undeniable anticipation and hope for what is to come. There's nothing wrong with this of course, except for when we let this overtake us and forget that just as much as the promise means to us, even more so is the journey that gets us there. True wisdom comes not just from being to hear God's voice and follow His commands, but also from being able to look at what is right before us and deal with it before heading on to the next thing.
Too often, we get caught up in the future, or dwell too much in the past that we forget to live in the present and invariably end up creating a vicious cycle of regret as we only realize what we've missed once it's passed us by. I know I've been guilty of this, and I'm determined to try and make this stop and to embrace everyday as it comes. There is beauty I think in being able to be at rest and be still, even if the rest of the world is rushing by and telling you to get moving.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. Seize it.
Matthew 6:34 (New Living Translation)
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
32 From the tribe of Issachar, there were 200 leaders of the tribe with their relatives. All these men understood the signs of the times and knew the best course for Israel to take.
Today Brent and I were talking a little bit about being visionaries and the frustrations that come from having that kind of persona sometimes. I told him that there are days when I feel like the little dog with the fishing rod tie to it's back, running after the bone dangling right in front of me. I can see it, I can smell it, but I don't have it and I can't taste it. Almost, but not quite. And much like that dog, no matter how much I run after it, chase it with all my might, that bone will never be mine until my master comes and gets me to be still and retrieves the bone and gives it to me.
So hence today's verse. It is great to have vision, and visionaries, much like their timing counterparts are definitely needed. However, it is not enough to have vision. We must also understand the signs of the times, and in being able to discern the timing of things, thereby also know which is the best course to take at this particular time. Brent says a lot how he managed to mess things up in the past where he saw the vision, but got the timing wrong and in doing so, created more of a mess than anything else.
The problem sometimes with promises is that because we know it's been promised and that we're going to get it, it creates an undeniable anticipation and hope for what is to come. There's nothing wrong with this of course, except for when we let this overtake us and forget that just as much as the promise means to us, even more so is the journey that gets us there. True wisdom comes not just from being to hear God's voice and follow His commands, but also from being able to look at what is right before us and deal with it before heading on to the next thing.
Too often, we get caught up in the future, or dwell too much in the past that we forget to live in the present and invariably end up creating a vicious cycle of regret as we only realize what we've missed once it's passed us by. I know I've been guilty of this, and I'm determined to try and make this stop and to embrace everyday as it comes. There is beauty I think in being able to be at rest and be still, even if the rest of the world is rushing by and telling you to get moving.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. Seize it.
Matthew 6:34 (New Living Translation)
34 “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Perfect timing
1 Samuel 24:10-12 (The Message)
10-12This very day with your very own eyes you have seen that just now in the cave God put you in my hands. My men wanted me to kill you, but I wouldn't do it. I told them that I won't lift a finger against my master—he's God's anointed. Oh, my father, look at this, look at this piece that I cut from your robe. I could have cut you—killed you!—but I didn't. Look at the evidence! I'm not against you. I'm no rebel. I haven't sinned against you, and yet you're hunting me down to kill me. Let's decide which of us is in the right. God may avenge me, but it is in his hands, not mine.
1 Samuel 26:10 (The Message)
10 He went on, "As God lives, either God will strike him, or his time will come and he'll die in bed, or he'll fall in battle, but God forbid that I should lay a finger on God's anointed.
1 Samuel 30:6 (The Message)
6 David strengthened himself with trust in his God.
Today I've been thinking a lot about David. There are so many great characters in the Bible, but David has always remained one of my favorite, partly because I resonate a lot with his story, partly because of how honest and open he is about faith and life and struggles, and partly because he demonstrates great character - quick to repent and always recognizing God's love, sovereignty and power. He never fails to give God all the glory, and despite his mistakes, he always manages to trust God with such an intensity that I am left in completely wonderment.
Perhaps what I find most remarkable about the story of David is the fact that he had such trust and faith that God would put things together for him, that he never once tried to take things into his own hands. Twice, he had Saul delivered into his hands, the man who had been persecuting him for 12 years, and yet he refused to lift a finger and kill Saul. One stroke, and it could have been all over, and even though knowing that he was anointed to be the rightful king of Israel, he stood back and chose to do nothing. He trusted that God would take care of it for him.
I look at his story and I sit back and think "wow." I don't know many people who if given the chance, would choose NOT to take out the person who's been chasing them and trying to kill them. But yet we look at this story and we see that we have much to learn from his example, because besides demonstrating great faith and trust in God, he also shows us what it means to give honor to those around us, even to our enemies. David teaches us that when our strength is in God, we have nothing to fear and can walk on with boldness, knowing that God will bring all things to pass when the time is right.
Message for the day: There is no need for us to try and make happen what has already been promised. God will move when He will, and His timing will always be exact and perfect. When we learn to not only trust God, but to also trust His timing, it is then that we will find contentment in our circumstances because if something hasn't happened yet, it just simply means now's not the time.
10-12This very day with your very own eyes you have seen that just now in the cave God put you in my hands. My men wanted me to kill you, but I wouldn't do it. I told them that I won't lift a finger against my master—he's God's anointed. Oh, my father, look at this, look at this piece that I cut from your robe. I could have cut you—killed you!—but I didn't. Look at the evidence! I'm not against you. I'm no rebel. I haven't sinned against you, and yet you're hunting me down to kill me. Let's decide which of us is in the right. God may avenge me, but it is in his hands, not mine.
1 Samuel 26:10 (The Message)
10 He went on, "As God lives, either God will strike him, or his time will come and he'll die in bed, or he'll fall in battle, but God forbid that I should lay a finger on God's anointed.
1 Samuel 30:6 (The Message)
6 David strengthened himself with trust in his God.
Today I've been thinking a lot about David. There are so many great characters in the Bible, but David has always remained one of my favorite, partly because I resonate a lot with his story, partly because of how honest and open he is about faith and life and struggles, and partly because he demonstrates great character - quick to repent and always recognizing God's love, sovereignty and power. He never fails to give God all the glory, and despite his mistakes, he always manages to trust God with such an intensity that I am left in completely wonderment.
Perhaps what I find most remarkable about the story of David is the fact that he had such trust and faith that God would put things together for him, that he never once tried to take things into his own hands. Twice, he had Saul delivered into his hands, the man who had been persecuting him for 12 years, and yet he refused to lift a finger and kill Saul. One stroke, and it could have been all over, and even though knowing that he was anointed to be the rightful king of Israel, he stood back and chose to do nothing. He trusted that God would take care of it for him.
I look at his story and I sit back and think "wow." I don't know many people who if given the chance, would choose NOT to take out the person who's been chasing them and trying to kill them. But yet we look at this story and we see that we have much to learn from his example, because besides demonstrating great faith and trust in God, he also shows us what it means to give honor to those around us, even to our enemies. David teaches us that when our strength is in God, we have nothing to fear and can walk on with boldness, knowing that God will bring all things to pass when the time is right.
Message for the day: There is no need for us to try and make happen what has already been promised. God will move when He will, and His timing will always be exact and perfect. When we learn to not only trust God, but to also trust His timing, it is then that we will find contentment in our circumstances because if something hasn't happened yet, it just simply means now's not the time.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Facing the mirror
Job 40:3-5 (The Message)
Job Answers God
I'm Ready to Shut Up and Listen
3-5 Job answered:
"I'm speechless, in awe—words fail me.
I should never have opened my mouth!
I've talked too much, way too much.
I'm ready to shut up and listen."
Message: Who's doing all the talking? Are you really ready to listen or are you just going through the motions but not really paying attention to anything that's being said?
Job 42:1-6 (The Message)
Job Worships God
I Babbled On About Things Far Beyond Me
1-6 Job answered God: "I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything.
Nothing and no one can upset your plans.
You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water,
ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?'
I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me,
made small talk about wonders way over my head.
You told me, 'Listen, and let me do the talking.
Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.'
I admit I once lived by rumors of you;
now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears!
I'm sorry—forgive me. I'll never do that again, I promise!
I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor."
Message: God's plans will come to pass in His time, according to His will which remains a mystery to us all. But to trust means we have to stop second-guessing at all costs. The introduction of doubt only adds unnecessary stress which was supposed to be prevented when God promises that we're taken care of. We must be careful of who we think God is, are we believing rumors about Him, or are we seeking Him and His word to find the truth for ourselves?
1 Peter 1:18-21 (The Message)
18-21Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ's sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you. It's because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.
Message: Where have we placed our hope? No, it's not wrong to hope for things, but our ultimate hope is Christ and must always remain so or we can be sure that we will derail and go off track. God always knew everything that was going to happen to us, so who are we to think He won't take care of the end result?
It's been a tiring weekend. Much happened and I am exhausted - physically and emotionally. And today will be a long day, probably until 11.30pm or so, but that's not a bad thing. Brent is going for a training session on how to share the gospel, and I've requested to tag along with my big bro because 1) I don't have to teach piano tonight, 2) I think I could really benefit from the training and 3) I've determined that the best use of my time would be to spend it on the things of God and His Kingdom and this is a good opportunity to do so.
This past weekend I realized how wise God is in not giving me the things I want the moment I want it. I think I have a tendency to want things before I'm ready for them and clearly I still have a lot of growing up to do before anything else can happen. May God forgive me for my foolishness and wanting something that at this point is beyond my capacity. How incredibly selfish.
I'm not angry about it, but I am disappointed. And really, I am disappointed with myself because one would think I should know better by now, but evidently I don't and still have much to learn. I wonder how it is that people around me can seem to set their goals and focus so much better than I can and it's frustrating how easily distracted I can become when I know full well that I have an abundance of things set before me that I have to do, and yet seem to grab any excuse not to follow through with them.
I find that I have no excuse for this, other than that I am undisciplined, disobedient and inordinately lazy at times. What doesn't make sense to me is that in spite of all this, God still seems to think He's picked the right person. These days I really wonder what it is that God sees in me because at this point I can't see it. I just can't see it. And I still think He could have picked someone else far better than me.
Anyway, I am not trying to sound depressed, because I'm not. I think I'm just coming face to face with myself in the mirror and it's not a pretty picture, but then again that's also precisely the reason why I need God because I am a mess and I can't fix me. I don't know how to fix me.
So we'll see what God has in store, and God grant me the grace to finish this path, and hopefully as long as I keep my eyes on Jesus and take it step by step, maybe one day I'll wake up and realize that I've made it across the finish line. And the best part will not be that I made it, the best part will be that God gets all the glory because it belongs to Him in the first place.
Job Answers God
I'm Ready to Shut Up and Listen
3-5 Job answered:
"I'm speechless, in awe—words fail me.
I should never have opened my mouth!
I've talked too much, way too much.
I'm ready to shut up and listen."
Message: Who's doing all the talking? Are you really ready to listen or are you just going through the motions but not really paying attention to anything that's being said?
Job 42:1-6 (The Message)
Job Worships God
I Babbled On About Things Far Beyond Me
1-6 Job answered God: "I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything.
Nothing and no one can upset your plans.
You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water,
ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?'
I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me,
made small talk about wonders way over my head.
You told me, 'Listen, and let me do the talking.
Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.'
I admit I once lived by rumors of you;
now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears!
I'm sorry—forgive me. I'll never do that again, I promise!
I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor."
Message: God's plans will come to pass in His time, according to His will which remains a mystery to us all. But to trust means we have to stop second-guessing at all costs. The introduction of doubt only adds unnecessary stress which was supposed to be prevented when God promises that we're taken care of. We must be careful of who we think God is, are we believing rumors about Him, or are we seeking Him and His word to find the truth for ourselves?
1 Peter 1:18-21 (The Message)
18-21Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ's sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you. It's because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.
Message: Where have we placed our hope? No, it's not wrong to hope for things, but our ultimate hope is Christ and must always remain so or we can be sure that we will derail and go off track. God always knew everything that was going to happen to us, so who are we to think He won't take care of the end result?
It's been a tiring weekend. Much happened and I am exhausted - physically and emotionally. And today will be a long day, probably until 11.30pm or so, but that's not a bad thing. Brent is going for a training session on how to share the gospel, and I've requested to tag along with my big bro because 1) I don't have to teach piano tonight, 2) I think I could really benefit from the training and 3) I've determined that the best use of my time would be to spend it on the things of God and His Kingdom and this is a good opportunity to do so.
This past weekend I realized how wise God is in not giving me the things I want the moment I want it. I think I have a tendency to want things before I'm ready for them and clearly I still have a lot of growing up to do before anything else can happen. May God forgive me for my foolishness and wanting something that at this point is beyond my capacity. How incredibly selfish.
I'm not angry about it, but I am disappointed. And really, I am disappointed with myself because one would think I should know better by now, but evidently I don't and still have much to learn. I wonder how it is that people around me can seem to set their goals and focus so much better than I can and it's frustrating how easily distracted I can become when I know full well that I have an abundance of things set before me that I have to do, and yet seem to grab any excuse not to follow through with them.
I find that I have no excuse for this, other than that I am undisciplined, disobedient and inordinately lazy at times. What doesn't make sense to me is that in spite of all this, God still seems to think He's picked the right person. These days I really wonder what it is that God sees in me because at this point I can't see it. I just can't see it. And I still think He could have picked someone else far better than me.
Anyway, I am not trying to sound depressed, because I'm not. I think I'm just coming face to face with myself in the mirror and it's not a pretty picture, but then again that's also precisely the reason why I need God because I am a mess and I can't fix me. I don't know how to fix me.
So we'll see what God has in store, and God grant me the grace to finish this path, and hopefully as long as I keep my eyes on Jesus and take it step by step, maybe one day I'll wake up and realize that I've made it across the finish line. And the best part will not be that I made it, the best part will be that God gets all the glory because it belongs to Him in the first place.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Looking beyond the circumstances
2 Chronicles 7:14 (The Message)
If I ever shut off the supply of rain from the skies or order the locusts to eat the crops or send a plague on my people, and my people, my God-defined people, respond by humbling themselves, praying, seeking my presence, and turning their backs on their wicked lives, I'll be there ready for you: I'll listen from heaven, forgive their sins, and restore their land to health.
At CRM, we like to use this verse a lot, I think because it pertains to what we're working towards as a ministry. You can't really see total transformation and revival unless people are ready to humble themselves before God, repent and seek His presence. Today it got me thinking though, about how hard hearted we can be sometimes. God is so quick to forgive, but the question really is: how quick are we to repent?
I think I've long given up on trying to be your picture perfect Christian because 1) that's unrealistic, 2) if I didn't make a single mistake, then I'd be Jesus and 3) if I were Jesus, then this world would be very confused (for obvious reasons).
I guess what I'm getting at is the fact that we do make mistakes, and we do struggle, sometimes rebel even, and sometimes that results in God "shutting off the rain" to discipline us but the amazing thing is that He's so ready to help us as soon as we admit that we need the help, and we can't do this on our own. What I find funny is the fact that we sometimes recognize beyond a doubt that we can't do it, but we still don't want to tell God we need Him. We are such proud people at times... but at the end of the day, do we really have anything to be proud of?
I agree that when it comes to the things of God, we absolutely cannot settle. The trick then, is to put what we think and say into practice, because words, as I'm sure you would agree, are nothing without actions. So I guess what I'm saying is I'm taking everything to heart, and for the most part, am trying to keep moving, but also, rather than just simply moving, to keep a good attitude about it too. Lately my mom's been drilling this in: "Keep positive! Stay strong! You're blessed! You can finish the race!"
And really, she's right. (Mothers usually are). Circumstances don't change overnight, but what often times is able to keep us going is when we are able to look beyond the circumstances and understand that God is with us right to the end, and therefore there is no need for fear or worry or distress. It is not so much the situation that we're in, but rather who's in this with us.
So we are able to keep going, and keep the joy in our hearts, recognizing that the joy comes not from being masochistically happy about being put through trial, but that we have already been redeemed, and therefore will ultimately triumph.
If I ever shut off the supply of rain from the skies or order the locusts to eat the crops or send a plague on my people, and my people, my God-defined people, respond by humbling themselves, praying, seeking my presence, and turning their backs on their wicked lives, I'll be there ready for you: I'll listen from heaven, forgive their sins, and restore their land to health.
At CRM, we like to use this verse a lot, I think because it pertains to what we're working towards as a ministry. You can't really see total transformation and revival unless people are ready to humble themselves before God, repent and seek His presence. Today it got me thinking though, about how hard hearted we can be sometimes. God is so quick to forgive, but the question really is: how quick are we to repent?
I think I've long given up on trying to be your picture perfect Christian because 1) that's unrealistic, 2) if I didn't make a single mistake, then I'd be Jesus and 3) if I were Jesus, then this world would be very confused (for obvious reasons).
I guess what I'm getting at is the fact that we do make mistakes, and we do struggle, sometimes rebel even, and sometimes that results in God "shutting off the rain" to discipline us but the amazing thing is that He's so ready to help us as soon as we admit that we need the help, and we can't do this on our own. What I find funny is the fact that we sometimes recognize beyond a doubt that we can't do it, but we still don't want to tell God we need Him. We are such proud people at times... but at the end of the day, do we really have anything to be proud of?
I agree that when it comes to the things of God, we absolutely cannot settle. The trick then, is to put what we think and say into practice, because words, as I'm sure you would agree, are nothing without actions. So I guess what I'm saying is I'm taking everything to heart, and for the most part, am trying to keep moving, but also, rather than just simply moving, to keep a good attitude about it too. Lately my mom's been drilling this in: "Keep positive! Stay strong! You're blessed! You can finish the race!"
And really, she's right. (Mothers usually are). Circumstances don't change overnight, but what often times is able to keep us going is when we are able to look beyond the circumstances and understand that God is with us right to the end, and therefore there is no need for fear or worry or distress. It is not so much the situation that we're in, but rather who's in this with us.
So we are able to keep going, and keep the joy in our hearts, recognizing that the joy comes not from being masochistically happy about being put through trial, but that we have already been redeemed, and therefore will ultimately triumph.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Trials
Sometimes I think it's still hard for me to accept that God has chosen me for something. Many people around me talk about wanting to find out God's will for their lives and trying to discover their calling, and the truth is I wonder what that's like sometimes. To not know, to not be sure and to have to try and figure it out. Much of my life has revolved around me being focused, always knowing what I'm doing, always knowing where I'm going... and even now, it's not like I can say I don't know. Because God already chose for me a long time ago, and so here I am, walking this path, because He said so.
A lot of people think that's a wonderful thing, that it's a blessing. And I can't argue that, because I know it's true, which then makes me wonder why this still seems so hard. Maybe it's because in my case, it wasn't really what I wanted, and had to grow into it, and now I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. And I suppose that's what makes it harder, is when you don't want something at first, then realize it's what you want and need more than anything else, and then have to wait it out because as it's been said to us so many times lately... it's not time yet. Makes you want to scream and tear something huh?
I think what I'm holding to at this moment is that at the end of the day, when God's people suffer, it is not for nothing. The real test I suppose, is learning to turn it into a sanctified affliction, to be honest about the hardships and the pain and the hurt, but to also stand strong in the knowledge that God is bigger than this and that He will come through for us. Many people, I'm realizing, love God but don't want to be tested. But the reality is the Bible is riddled with examples and warnings that we WILL be tested, so I think instead of trying to escape it, maybe the better option is to be prepared, knowing that we might not like it, but it won't last forever either.
God is in the details. In every thought, every action, every word, every hope and every dream. Our job is simply to keep pressing on, knowing that whether or not we see the finish line in our lifetime, it is all worth it. Because a life without God is nothing, totally and completely pointless.
1 Peter 2:9-10 (The Message)
9-10But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.
Revelation 3:10-11 (The Message)
10"Because you kept my Word in passionate patience, I'll keep you safe in the time of testing that will be here soon, and all over the earth, every man, woman, and child put to the test.
11"I'm on my way; I'll be there soon. Keep a tight grip on what you have so no one distracts you and steals your crown.
A lot of people think that's a wonderful thing, that it's a blessing. And I can't argue that, because I know it's true, which then makes me wonder why this still seems so hard. Maybe it's because in my case, it wasn't really what I wanted, and had to grow into it, and now I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. And I suppose that's what makes it harder, is when you don't want something at first, then realize it's what you want and need more than anything else, and then have to wait it out because as it's been said to us so many times lately... it's not time yet. Makes you want to scream and tear something huh?
I think what I'm holding to at this moment is that at the end of the day, when God's people suffer, it is not for nothing. The real test I suppose, is learning to turn it into a sanctified affliction, to be honest about the hardships and the pain and the hurt, but to also stand strong in the knowledge that God is bigger than this and that He will come through for us. Many people, I'm realizing, love God but don't want to be tested. But the reality is the Bible is riddled with examples and warnings that we WILL be tested, so I think instead of trying to escape it, maybe the better option is to be prepared, knowing that we might not like it, but it won't last forever either.
God is in the details. In every thought, every action, every word, every hope and every dream. Our job is simply to keep pressing on, knowing that whether or not we see the finish line in our lifetime, it is all worth it. Because a life without God is nothing, totally and completely pointless.
1 Peter 2:9-10 (The Message)
9-10But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.
Revelation 3:10-11 (The Message)
10"Because you kept my Word in passionate patience, I'll keep you safe in the time of testing that will be here soon, and all over the earth, every man, woman, and child put to the test.
11"I'm on my way; I'll be there soon. Keep a tight grip on what you have so no one distracts you and steals your crown.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
On the results of sleep deprevation
How to tell when Kim is sleep deprived and in need of a nap:
When a seemingly routine trip to the bathroom at lunch in a restaurant results in Kim misreading the signs on the doors and happily trotting into the men's restroom to find a guy washing up at the sink. Good thing it was just that and not someone at the urinal. Now that would have been awkward.
Today will have me going from 8am to 11pm tonight. God give me the strength to make it through the day and not have anymore mishaps the rest of today. Amen.
When a seemingly routine trip to the bathroom at lunch in a restaurant results in Kim misreading the signs on the doors and happily trotting into the men's restroom to find a guy washing up at the sink. Good thing it was just that and not someone at the urinal. Now that would have been awkward.
Today will have me going from 8am to 11pm tonight. God give me the strength to make it through the day and not have anymore mishaps the rest of today. Amen.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Asking
Taken from a letter to a friend:
James 1:2-8, 12, 16-17 (The Message)
2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
5-8If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.
... 12Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life....
... 16-17So, my very dear friends, don't get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle....
Notes in the margin of my bible:
"Be certain about what you're asking for and then have the courage to ask for it and believe God will give it to you at the right time."
Sometimes I think we worry that when we want something with such intensity, that automatically it's a bad thing and therefore we shouldn't want it, because we're not supposed to want anything besides God. But what if what we're desiring is what God wants to give us in the first place?
Maybe then the challenge is seeing if our fear will get in the way of us actually accepting a gift from God. Maybe part of trusting is realizing that when God gives, it is precisely that, a gift. Pure and true, nothing deceitful, no strings attached, simply ours to accept and enjoy.
Sometimes I think we forget that part of being loved means God thinks we're worth it, and that He wants to give us things simply for that reason. So where does that leave us? I'm beginning to think that instead of beating ourselves up about wanting something with this much intensity, that perhaps what God really wants us to do is to step out, be bold and ask Him for it without a second thought, and trust that He'll deliver because He loves to answer us when we call.
So here I am then. Calling... and waiting for an answer.
James 1:2-8, 12, 16-17 (The Message)
2-4Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.
5-8If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers" are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you're going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.
... 12Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life....
... 16-17So, my very dear friends, don't get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle....
Notes in the margin of my bible:
"Be certain about what you're asking for and then have the courage to ask for it and believe God will give it to you at the right time."
Sometimes I think we worry that when we want something with such intensity, that automatically it's a bad thing and therefore we shouldn't want it, because we're not supposed to want anything besides God. But what if what we're desiring is what God wants to give us in the first place?
Maybe then the challenge is seeing if our fear will get in the way of us actually accepting a gift from God. Maybe part of trusting is realizing that when God gives, it is precisely that, a gift. Pure and true, nothing deceitful, no strings attached, simply ours to accept and enjoy.
Sometimes I think we forget that part of being loved means God thinks we're worth it, and that He wants to give us things simply for that reason. So where does that leave us? I'm beginning to think that instead of beating ourselves up about wanting something with this much intensity, that perhaps what God really wants us to do is to step out, be bold and ask Him for it without a second thought, and trust that He'll deliver because He loves to answer us when we call.
So here I am then. Calling... and waiting for an answer.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Trusting God
Chris said something interesting to me today:
"You're right, you don't deserve it. But you also have to realize that God thinks you're worth it, and therein lies the answer. Accept that God thinks you're worth it, and accept that He loves you and wants to give it to you."
Matthew 5:3-12 (The Message)
3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.
8"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
11-12"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.
Looked at these verses a few minutes ago and I wrote this in the margin of my bible:
"Everything is not what it seems. What the world counts for bad, God will use for good and for His glory."
These days I find myself walking out something that far more intense than I've ever felt in my life, but I'm beginning to think that maybe this period is to teach me what it really means to trust Him.
Think about it, if we learn what it really means to trust God and how to trust Him, what can stop us? We will have conquered the world right then and there.
"You're right, you don't deserve it. But you also have to realize that God thinks you're worth it, and therein lies the answer. Accept that God thinks you're worth it, and accept that He loves you and wants to give it to you."
Matthew 5:3-12 (The Message)
3"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
4"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
5"You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
6"You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.
7"You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.
8"You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
9"You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.
10"You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.
11-12"Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.
Looked at these verses a few minutes ago and I wrote this in the margin of my bible:
"Everything is not what it seems. What the world counts for bad, God will use for good and for His glory."
These days I find myself walking out something that far more intense than I've ever felt in my life, but I'm beginning to think that maybe this period is to teach me what it really means to trust Him.
Think about it, if we learn what it really means to trust God and how to trust Him, what can stop us? We will have conquered the world right then and there.
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